From Awareness to Action: Supporting Survivors This April

Written by: Bri Ledsome

It took years to call myself a “survivor.”

In fact - it took five years. Five years, and a lot of processing later, I took my experience of sexual assault and created my project, @whatiwishpeopleknew.

It was born out of anger. Really, it was born out of rage. I couldn’t believe that anyone could excuse the pain that I experienced. I wanted to scream at them. I wanted to tell them what he did to me, and what he did to the girls after me. I wanted them to know.

But I couldn’t tell them. I couldn’t find my voice. Which, if you know me, is rare.

So I started @whatiwishpeopleknew. It's a place for survivors to anonymously share the things they wish you knew about their experiences.

The concept was simple. But six years later, it is still going. And growing.

Survivors submit their stories. The things they WISH they could say. What they want YOU to know about their assailant.

Things like:

• “I have a reputation as a strong-willed independent woman, as a fighter. He was the first boy I was ever involved with. He treated me like a princess until he didn't anymore.”

• “I wish people knew that rape does not just happen to the ‘damsel in distress’ that does not know how to handle herself. No matter how strong you are, the power of abuse and coercion is stronger.”

• “I think a little part of me will always have love for him, no matter how hard I try not to. He made my life hell, but for whatever reason my mind clings on to the moments when he was good.”

• “He was my better half.”

• “He was my father.”

• “He is a social worker.”

@whatiwishpeopleknew was born out of the belief that ALL survivors of violence deserve to have their stories heard. They deserve to be supported, believed, and cared for.

Every April, we observe SAAM - Sexual Assault Awareness Month - a time to center survivors, to educate the community about sexual violence, and how to prevent the cycle of violence from continuing.

My experience is my own - but it is not unique. The statistics for sexual violence in the United States are damning. One in three women will experience sexual violence in their lifetime, as will one in six men.

Think of the rooms you are in.

Your boardroom, your office, the grocery store. One in three women, and one in sex men are survivors of sexual assault. Every 68 seconds. Every 68 seconds someone in the United States is assaulted.

This is not something we can ignore. It is an epidemic, one that deserves our attention 365 days a year. So what can you do? What can any of us do?

I know how heavy this is. For six years, I have held the space for survivors to disclose their experiences. For six years, I have heard the stories and shared them online - sometimes to an audience of “haters,” about what it means to be a survivor.

But like Emily Dickinson said - “Hope is a thing with feathers.”

I am hopeful that in my lifetime, we will see a world free of violence. And it begins with each one of us.

It is our duty to get - and stay - educated. Whether that means listening to podcasts like RAINN's Sexual Assault Awareness Podcast Episodes, or understanding the statistics from survivor-serving and managed orgs like NSVRC, we can’t look away when it is hard. We have to confront the reality - the sexual violence epidemic is exactly that - an epidemic - and it cannot be ignored.

Our values call us to support survivors. When someone discloses their experience to you, it is imperative to believe them, validate their feelings, and let them lead the conversation.

You are not the expert - but you do not have to be to hold space. “Thank you for trusting me.” “I believe you.” “Your feelings are completely valid.” They’re all things I wish had been said to me.

You do not have to solve all of the world's problems. Offer support, not solutions. “Is there anything I can do to support you right now?” “Would you like help finding a support resource?”

Supporting through this can also be emotionally heavy, especially for fellow survivors. It’s okay for you to feel upset, confused, or overwhelmed. Take the space you need.

And remember, the most powerful tool in your toolbox is your voice. Use your voice on social media, in your community, or in your workplace to advocate for policies and practices that support survivors and prevent harm.

Sexual Assault Awareness Month is a reminder that while the journey to ending sexual violence is long, we are not alone in it.

Whether you’re a survivor, ally, educator, or advocate—your voice and actions matter. Healing is possible. Change is possible. And together, we move forward.

If you or a loved one are experiencing sexual violence, or you want to find more resources on sexual violence:

• RAINN: https://rainn.org/

• NSVRC – nsvrc.org

• OAESV – oaesv.org

• End Rape on Campus – endrapeoncampus.org